I have come to the conclusion...

that I am HORRIBLE at blogging!! I have a hard time just sitting down and writing my thoughts. I can't believe it's been 7 months today. Sometimes it seems time goes by so quickly...yet so slowly. Chris and I just started reading through 50 Days of Heaven by Randy Alcorn. He talked about the fog. I feel that way sometimes. There is fog surrounding me some days. I struggle to see the shore. To keep hoping. Sometimes I get overwhelmed at the things that are NOT going to be now that Anthony is gone...

I was at a dear friends wedding a few weeks ago. It was such a joy to watch her get married and start a new journey with an amazing man of God. They had a rehearsal breakfast that morning and different members of the family got to stand up and share. The groom's cousin got up and shared about all of the memories they had made together growing up. He got a chance to share how excited he was for his cousin's future with his new bride. It was wonderful, sweet, and precious to hear the love from cousin to cousin. I couldn't help but think 2 things.... 1. How grateful I was that Anthony got a chance to do that for Chris. 2. How sad I was that Chris wouldn't have a chance to do that for Anthony.

SO, in conclusion today - I miss Anthony. I still grieve the loss of what could have been. I grieve the loss of who he was. I still struggle to remember that my HOPE comes from Jesus Christ. That HE is the GOD OF ALL COMFORT. Lord, thank you for allowing me to laugh at memories of Anth. To be grateful for the time we did have. Help me to keep looking to YOU! Amen.