Coming home...

Sigh.....coming home was harder than I thought it would be. Driving away from the mountain, we all felt so defeated. It was weird. When we drove up there, I fully expected to come home the next day with Anthony. So much for MY expectations :) Now I know that God has a different idea. Imagine that...God knows something I don't! I haven't been able to bring myself to go into his room yet. Chris says it smells like him. I think tomorrow, I'm going to make an espresso in honor of Anth. There are so many things I already miss about him:

-his crazy food concoctions

-the weird cheese in the fridge

-his impish smile as he asks if I need to use the bathroom

-him asking me to trim the back of his hair

-seeing him in the morning when I'm getting ready

-his laugh

-his smile

-talking to him about what we're going to be teaching that week

-laughing about strange things that happened that day

-watching him and Chris interact and make fun of each other....and knowing that they were doing crap behind my back :)

-enjoying an espresso with him in the morning

-talking about decorating with him

-making food for him

phew...I'm sure I'll add to this list as time goes on. For now, I'm just taking it one day at a time. Sometimes one hour at a time. The grief comes in waves. It engulfs me and is overwhelming...and I just have to look to my Jesus...and then I can stand up under it. HE IS GOOD. AND HIS LOVE ENDURES FOREVER!