heartache and frustration

The other night, I just had a super rough night. I posted about it on Facebook, with very limited details. So, I thought I would share just a little.

It started with my job. For those of you who don't know, I'm a teacher and this school year is my third year with my district. Every year, I have had a different position and a different school. Last year, I was in a position that I loved and at a school that I didn't want to leave. So, when I received news at the end of the school year that I would be moving to another school, I was super bummed. BUT, I was grateful that I had a job. I was told that I would be teaching first grade. I spent the summer getting mentally prepared, going to trainings and working in my classroom. By the end of the summer I was excited about my new position. School started about 2 weeks ago and I was having a great time teaching first grade. It felt good to get back into the classroom! I had 22 kids that I was excited about investing in.

Wednesday evening, I received a call from my principal. The district had re-assigned one of the teachers at our building to another school, and as a result we had to do some staff shuffling. Long story short, I was told that I would now be teaching library. I was SOOO frustrated! How many different jobs can one girl do in 3 school years?! I was ALL prepared and excited for first grade and now...library??? Really??? No warning, no - "hey, this might be happening." Just a phone call to say "this is what you'll be doing now and be ready to start in two days!" I was frustrated, overwhelmed and super annoyed. I called my principal later that night and got a few details. I was mostly glad that I would still be able to complete my professional certificate schooling that I was in. But, I was still bummed.

I got home, vented to my dear husband, cried a little, and ate something. Then, he told me that Jon, Anthony's dad, had called. They had some answers. What Jon had to say is long and detailed - and if I see you in person, I'd be happy to share. I just don't really want to post it for the world. Needless to say, the details didn't pan out to be what I expected. I was again filled with loss, grief, heartache and sadness. I found myself wishing it could've been different. I just wanted to see Anth and hug him. And we are still in the process of wrestling with these details. It's hard. SO, keep praying for us. Praise the Lord for His sovereignty in all situations. And keep praying. Thanks for listening...